Uber Geek (n) - a prominent or extreme example of the common geek. Uber, the German word for above or over, has been adopted as a slang prefix meaning super or ultra; thus, the uber geek is one whose preoccupation with technology goes above and beyond that of the average geek.
Directions: Choose the answer that appeals to you most. At the end of the quiz, discover which well-known Uber Geek you resemble most. Hint: Keep track of your answers as you go.
1. You're most likely to hum…
A Frank Sinatra -- My Way
B I don't hum
C Something classical
D Dylan -- The Times, They Are A-Changin'
E Anchors Aweigh
2. In your younger years, you probably…
A Cut classes to hang out in the computer room
B Avoided nature whenever possible
C Taught yourself algebra for fun
D Defrauded the phone company
E Took things apart to see how they worked
3. Your idea of relaxation is …
A Washing dishes
B Taking a sauna
C Writing poetry
D Looking for Nemo
E Chain smoking
4. You would be most likely to wear a t-shirt that says…
A Be nice to nerds -- chances are you'll end up working for one
B Software is like sex: it's better when it's free
C IP on everything
D Rip, mix, burn
E It's easier to apologize than to ask permission
5. You consider yourself to be a…
B Benevolent dictator
C Gadget junkie
D Driving force
6. You're known for saying…
A That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
B I am your god.
C Surf's up!
D My girlfriend always laughs during sex -- no matter what she's reading.
E Lazy is not necessarily a character flaw.
7. You might be seen driving a…
E Human-powered submarine
8. Computers and the Internet are…
A Not as important as health care
B Only good for what you can do with them
C A reflection of our society
D Like a bicycle for your mind
E Good for business
9. In another life, you were a …
A Congressional page
B Work-at-home dad
C Member of the mafia
D Rock star
E Ivy League professor
10. If you ruled the world you would…
A Stomp out spam
B Get rid of speed limits
C Take the Internet to outer space
D Limit the time people could watch TV
E Give people the freedom to try new things and watch what happens
Scroll down for Answer Key
Answer Key: Tally your answer choices to see which answer you selected most often. We've based our answers on true facts, although in some cases we paraphrased liberally. For instance, Vint Cerf really did wear a t-shirt that said "IP on everything" (question #4) and had a group of college friends who liked to call themselves the UCLA mafia (question #9). If you find yourself wondering where an answer choice came from, try Googling it along with the name of the geek it belongs to.
Mostly A: Classic Geek
Like Classic Geek Bill Gates, you are reluctant to step into the limelight and are happiest when engaged in your work. You rule your empire late at night: when lesser geeks have logged off, you're just hitting your stride. Your shrewd judgment and tremendous will-power make you a force to be reckoned with. People are more likely to be impressed by your drive than your attention to the minutiae of social niceties, and they will respect you for that. Even if they don't always understand the method to your madness, everyone has faith that it exists, and watches with interest to see what you'll come up with.
Mostly B: Iconoclast Geek
Like Iconoclast Geek Linus Torvalds, you don't kowtow to sacred cows. Although you are amiable, you stubbornly refuse to yield to the status quo. Even your fashion sense reflects your march to a different drummer. Because you are not bound by the conventions that hobble lesser minds, you are likely to envision -- and realize -- things that others could scarcely dream of. Combine that spark of genius with your ability to delegate power, and you've got a winning combination. One danger: the Iconoclast Geek may end up becoming an icon!
Mostly C: Alpha Geek
Like Alpha Geek Vint Cerf, you have all the qualities of a successful leader. When you find yourself out of your depth, you never try to fake it -- instead you put your nose to the grindstone, get the training you need and add another element to your skill set. Once you focus on a task, everyone else can relax because they know from experience that you'll see it through to the end. Your ability to assimilate data from a variety of sources and your excellent written and verbal communication skills makes you the alpha dog wherever you go. Even your traditional fashion makes sets you apart from the rest of the pack and inspires others to follow.
Mostly D: Megalomaniac Geek
Like Megalomaniac Geek Steve Jobs, you make your presence known in your environment. You speak your mind and let nothing and no one stand in your way. Aesthetics are important to you; you consider yourself to be a yardstick for quality and purposely seek out others who you think measure up. Your clear vision and unshakeable confidence makes you a good leader, but an unhappy follower. Never mind -- with your attitude and work ethic you'll get to the top and never have to take another order.
Mostly E: Secret Anarchist Geek
Like Secret Anarchist Geek Grace Hopper, you wear many hats and are one of those rare people who manages to keep all the balls in the air sucessfully. Part of that comes from your ability to sell your ideas successfully. When it comes to hardware, threads of code, or personnel, you believe in that old saying "many hands make quick work." You have little patience for those who see the glass half empty and prefer to fill your team with optimists. Not only do you think outside the box, you don't even have a clue what the box looks like. Your irreverent sense of humor, quick wit and intelligence makes you the perfect late-night talk show guest.
This was first published in March 2004